How do vampire football players get the mud off?
They all get in the bat-tub.
Which villains steal soap from the bath?
Boy: Dad, dad, there's a spider in the bath.
Dad: What's wrong with that? You've seen spiders before.
but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot
Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your
bath, Mrs Soap?
Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I'd drunk the
bath there wasn't
room for medicine.
The plumber was working in a house when the lady of
the house said to him, "Will it be alright if I have a bath while
you're having your lunch?"
"It's okay with me lady," said the
plumber, "as long as you don't
splash my sandwiches."
Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a
Monster: Why? Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails.
I've just invented
something that everyone in the world will want! You
know how you get a
nasty ring around the bathtub every time you use it,
and you have to
clean the ring off?
Igor: Yes, I hate it.
Dr Frankenstein: Well,
you need never have a bathtub ring again! I've
invented the square
tub . . .
Did you hear about the idiot who had a
bath put in?
The plumber said, "Would you like a plug for it?"
The idiot replied, "Oh, I didn't know it was electric."
guest: Can you give me a room and a
Porter: I can give you a room, but you'll have to wash
Mom: Joe, time for your medicine.
run the bath then.
Joe: Because on the bottle it says
"to be taken in water."
Does your brother keep himself clean?
yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or
Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I
suggest you take a cold
bath every morning.
but I do, doctor.
Doctor: You do?
Patient: Yes, every
morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with
nice hot water!
Doctor: The best time to take a bath is before
Patient: You mean I don't need another bath until I'm
Why did the bank robber take a bath?
could make a clean getaway.
Adam: How did Mummy know you
hadn't had a
Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel, wet the soap and flood the
Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath? Rick: I
soap and water, personally.
Are you going to take a bath?
leaving it where it is.
My mother says I look just like an
when I'm in the bath - a little bear.
Mum, does God use the
a funny question!
Then why did Dad say this morning, 'Oh, God, are
you still in
Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big
Boss to steal a van
load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One
stayed in the van as look
out and the other went into the storeroom.
Fifteen minutes went by,
then half an hour, then an hour, and no
sign of him. The look out finally
grew impatient and went to look for
his partner. Inside the store the
two came face to face. "Where
have you been?" demanded the worried
look out. "The boss told me to
take a bath, but I couldn't find the soap
and a towel."