Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself? Because it is two-tired (too tired).

Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle? Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.

Which Elizabethan sailor could stop bikes ? Sir Francis Brake !

What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her head ? Petal !

What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose ? Bicycle petals !

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle ? Bike carbonate of soda !

What did the bicycle call its dad? Pop-cycle

Q: Why do bikes have kick-stands? A: Because they're two-tired.