Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock.

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ? An udder failure !

Camper: Look at that bunch of cows. Farmer: Not bunch, herd. Camper: Heard what? Farmer: Of cows. Camper: Sure I've heard of cows. Farmer: No, I mean a cowherd. Camper: So what? I have no secrets from cows!

Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work.

A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer. Is that bull safe? Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!

A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. "Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.

Cow: Why don't you shoo those flies? Bull: I'll let them go barefoot!

Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture? No! Did he hurt the cows? No, he just grazed them!

Did you hear about the snobby cow? She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare!

How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed!

How did that bullfight come out? Oh, it was a toss-up!

How did the calf's final exam turn out? Grade A!

What do you call a cow that plays the guitar? A Moosician!

How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down

How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them!

How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.

How does a cow do math? With a cowculator!

How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of udder delight.

I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm. Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow? I'd look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!