How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living? By appearing in television spooktaculars.

What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost. Fasten your sheet belt.

What do you call a ghost that stays out all night? Afresh air freak.

Why did the ghost go to the funfair. He wanted to go on the rollerghoster.

Why did the ghost work at Scotland Yard? He was the Chief In-Spectre.

What do you call the ghost who is a child-rearing expert? Dr Spook.

Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks.

What happened when a ghost asked for a brandy at his local pub? The landlord said "Sorry, we don't serve spirits."

What is a ghost boxer called? A phantomweight.

What happened to the ghost who went to a party? He had a wail of a time.

Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage.

Did you hear about the ghost who learnt to fly? He was pleased to be back on terror-firma.

Did you hear about the ghost who enjoyed doing housework? He used to go round with the oooo-ver.

A man was staying in a big old house and in the middle of the night he met a ghost. The ghost said, "I have been walking these corridors for 300 years." The man said, "in that case, can you tell me the way to the toilet?"

Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up.

What are pupils at ghost schools called? Ghoulboys and ghoulgirls.

What do you get is you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips? Snacks that go crunch in the night.

What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall? The nightmayor.

Woman in bed: Aaagh! Aaagh! A ghost just floated into my room! Ghost: Don't worry, ma'am, I'm just passing through.

What did one ghost say to another? I'm sorry, but I just don't believe in people.