A man walks outside to his car for work, when he notices a gorilla in his tree. He rushs to his phone book and finds the animal control number, calls and asks them to send over someone who's a gorilla expert. When the man arrives, he is carrying a shotgun, a chihuahua and a pair of handcuffs. The man says,''What are all of those for?'' The animal control officer says, ''I'll climb up in the tree, knock the gorilla down, the dog will bite him in the nuts and you must slap the handcuffs on his wrists.'' The man asks,''What is the gun for?'' The animal control officer responds, ''If I fall first, you shoot the dog!'''

Q: What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree? A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

Q: Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree ? A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why are gorillas so noisy? A: They were raised in a zoo!

Q: What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender? A: Rhesus Pieces.

Q. Why does Rilla get mad when he's in a race? A. Because all his friends shout, "GO-RILLA!"

Do you know a favourite expression used by the Gorillas? Apesy daisy!

Do Apes kiss? Yes, but never on the first date!

How come the giant Ape climbed up the side of the skyscraper? The elevator was broken!

How did a Gorilla come to be with Washington at Valley Forge? He had seen a sign saying, 'Uncle Simian Wants You!'

How did Gertie Gorilla make the 'Playboy' Calendar? She was 'Miss Ape-ril!'

How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching? He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

How did the obscene telephone caller get attacked by the Gorilla? He made a mistake and dialled a preyer!

How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm? They'll both bite at anything!

How do you make a Gorilla float? Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!

How do you make a Gorilla laugh? Tell it an elephant joke!

How do you make a Gorilla stew? You keep it waiting for three hours!

How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!

How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes? Hold up your arm and say 'Go back, you didn't say 'May I?''