A movie producer is lying by the pool at the Beverly Hilton. His partner arrives in a great state of excitement. "How'd the meeting go?" asks the first guy. "It went great," says his buddy. "Tarentino will write and direct for six million, Mel Gibson will star for eight, and we can bring in the whole picture for under fifty million." "Fabulous," says the guy by the pool. "There's just one catch," his partner warns. "What's the catch?" "We have to put up ten thousand in cash".

How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done, everyone says that his last light bulb was much better.

Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

Q: How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.

Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

Q: How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one... but how do you get him in there with the cute, blonde?

Q: How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one more, guys, I promise.

Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one, if he's got a good crew to do it.

Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb A: Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

Q: How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? A: If we change the light bulb, we'll have to change everything.

Q: How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

Q: How many Camera Assistants does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Five: One to do it and four to tell you how they did it on the last job.

Q: How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: "Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

Q: How many PA's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Nine........one to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.

Q: How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What's a light bulb?

Q: How many over eager PA's does it take to screw in a li... A: Done!

Q: How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

Q: How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

Q: How many Studio Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: We don't know. Light bulbs last longer than studio executives.