There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'. Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?" The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"

A old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"

Q: What kind of snake is good at math? A: An adder.

What do you get if you cross a snake with a hotdog? A fangfurther.

What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet? Wait until he's finished.

What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ? A boa constructor !

What's a snake's favourite food ? Hiss Cakes !

Why wouldn't the snake go on the weighing maching ? Because he had his own scales !

What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ? Thanks, I'll just have a sliver !

What is another word for a python ? A mega-bite !

What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig ? A boar constrictor !

What's a snakes favourite TV program ? Monty Python!

What snakes are good at sums ? Adders !

Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake ? Someone else's !

What is a snakes favourite opera ? Wriggletto !

What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent ? A snake in the brass !

What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird ? A feather boa !sna

Have you heard about the slippery eel ? Didn't think so, you wouldn't be able to grasp it !sna

Why can't you trust snakes ? They speak with forked tongues !

What's a snakes favourite dance ? Snake, rattle & roll !