Why did the vampire attack the clown? He wanted the circus to be in his blood.

Did you hear about the vampire who had an eye for the ladies? He used to keep it in his back pocket.

What is Dracula's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.

When the picture of the vampire's grandmother crashed to the floor in the middle of the night what did it mean? That the nail had come out of the wall.

What is a vampire's favourite soup ? Scream of mushroom !

What happened to the two mad vampires? They both went a little batty.

What do vampires cross the sea in? Blood vessels.

What do vampire footballers have at half-time? Blood oranges.

Why did the vampire take up acting? It was in his blood.

Who plays center forward for the vampire football team? The ghoulscorer.

Which vampire ate the three bears' porridge? Ghouldilocks.

Which vampire tried to eat James Bond? Ghouldfinger.

When do vampires bite you? On Wincedays.

Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing? He could really get into the vaultz.

What is the first thing that vampires learn at school? The alphabat.

Why is Hollywood full of vampires? They need someone to play the bit parts.

Why wouldn't the vampire eat his soup? It clotted.

Why was the young vampire a failure? Because he fainted at the sight of blood.

What is the vampire's favorite slogan? Please Give Blood Generously.

How does a vampire clean his house? With a victim cleaner.