Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat. "Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "with your hand on my steak?" "What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"

Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?" 1st customer: "I'll have tea." 2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!" (Waiter exits, returns) Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"

Waiter, waiter, do you have frog's legs? Certainly, Sir! Well hop over here and get me a sandwich!

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Don't worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! No sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Keep it down sir, or they'll all be wanting one.

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Its OK, Sir, there's no extra charge!

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Force of habit, sir. Our chef used to be a tailor.

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Couldn't be, sir. The cook used them all in the raisin bread.

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup! I know, but unfortunately we are out of turtle.

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Sorry sir, maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Surely not, sir. It must be one of those vitamin bees you hear so much about.

Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup! Then we've served you too much soup, the fly should be wading

Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup! Yes sir, it's the hot water that kills them.

Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup! What do you expect for $1 - a live one?

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? It's fly soup sir!